Monday, April 9, 2012

give the woman some space

This was going around on Facebook for a while:



I kind of love it.

One of the myths about introverts is that we're all shy. We're not. We're often well-socialized and social beings; we just have a different way of interacting with others.

Since that's kind of painting introverts with a broad stroke, let me talk about myself. I like people. Really. I work with students and instructors and staff all day long. It's part of my job. I also seem to have inherited my dad's uncanny ability that gets people to spill their entire life stories to me in the laundromat or the bus or on line in the grocery store. It's a little disconcerting.

It's also kind of exhausting. If I have a few days of heavy social interaction, all I really want to do is go home and lock myself in my room for the next week. Maybe that's how I ended up reading so much as a child--because it allowed me to have time away from people. It still does. Being an introvert means that time alone energizes me.

Oh, and if you're going to drag me to a big event with lots of people? I'm going to be okay for about an hour. Maybe two. And then I start to get sort of itchy. I used to think that there was something wrong with that.

Beyond all of that, I tend not to read people well, though I think that's more of a personality thing than an introvert thing. I also tend to react to public displays of emotion with embarrassment for the other person. Even when a student cries in my office, I usually end up giving her a tissue and pointing the way to the college counselor's office. Academic issues? Those I can deal with. Personal ones? Oh no. (I would make a crappy psychologist, I know.)

I sometimes exist in my own headspace. Sometimes I don't like small talk, and sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone.

 I don't feel the need to be extroverted. And I'm okay with that.

3 comments:

  1. it's not exactly my number 1 favorite poem, but i love it.... "on turning ten" by billy collins. such a beautiful way of describing what it's like to leave childhood behind, to become aware, to lose the person you once were and the inner life that set you free. i especially love the last stanza.

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  2. All of the yes. My friends continue to believe that I have a terrible time when I'm at one of their parties - it's surprisingly difficult to convince them that, no, I just only have so much Sociability to expend at a time and my reserves deplete much faster than theirs. I'm never quite sure how many of these factors are related to 'introversion' and how much are other things (I didn't know #7 on the poster was a common thing) but life would be much easier to take if people didn't so often seem to think it's bizarre to want them.

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  3. Yeah, #7 was a surprise to me, too.

    But parties, yes. It's a bit like an hourglass; once all that energy is expended, I've got nothing left. Tipping it back over takes time alone.:)

    And embarrassment in public! One of my fears.

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